As I read Courtney’s post, Random Acts of Kindness, I cried. I cried for several reasons. First and foremost, she is my friend and I hate to read that she has been blue. When I think about Courtney I smile. She is bubbly, drop dead gorgeous, smart, funny, warm, kind, loving, and simply a beautiful person inside and out. While I have not had the opportunity to spend quality time with her and her family, I have no doubt that she is an absolutely fantastic mother.
I cried because I can totally relate. I have been working for the same company for 16 years, and anyone who works in client service (in any industry) knows it is often a thankless, uninspiring and stressful job, which makes it so much harder to leave your beautiful children at daycare and go perform said job, especially when you would rather be home with them. In the current business environment, there is such a lack of praise, encouragement, and support. I think I can safely say very few of my colleagues feel motivated or encouraged by their workplace environment. I have come to think of my work as a job and not a career, which is depressing when you have been doing it for 19 years and have to go to work rather than take care of your children. I have been given this wonderful opportunity to write for this blog and I have been a slacker. I have sorely disappointed myself and probably my friends as well. I majored in journalism and my dream job was to be a writer or a sportscaster, but like the woman in Courtney’s post, I don’t think I have enough skill or confidence to pursue either, especially not at my age.
I cried because I can’t tell you how many times I have thought about writing encouraging notes to my family and friends just to let them know how I feel about them, but have simply not made the time to do it. I have no doubt most of the women in my life are lacking in the compliment department at home and/or at work. I know I am. Courtney’s post has inspired me to make the time to write those notes, and by notes, I mean the old fashioned kind, handwritten sent via the post office.
I cried because I thought of my daughter Isabel and how I thought after she died, I would change. I would make changes, do something more meaningful with my life, and become a better person for her. I have failed miserably. I came to the conclusion at the time that I was putting too much pressure on myself to make radical changes while I was still healing. I think that was true, but there is no excuse now. I distinctly remember the day I went to the mailbox and there was not a sympathy card. I have never been able to adequately articulate the feeling of continuing life after a loss, and the loneliness that sets in when you realize life goes on and those around you have moved on and you are left with this new normal. I now try to send sympathy cards much later after someone has lost a loved one, just so they know their loss has not been forgotten and I am still thinking about them. I hope it helps.
I cried because Courtney’s acts of kindness inspired me. How easy is it to make someone’s day with a simple compliment or gesture? While we all complain that we are soooo busy, are we really? A friend of my husband’s said this to me recently and I have thought a lot about it ever since: if I am honest with myself, it’s not that I am too busy to do the right things, it’s that I am either lazy or lack discipline or am just too tired. The few minutes (or few hours, if I am honest) of down time I have, I want to watch mindless, unproductive TV. I have been trying to walk from my train station to my office (approximately 1.2 miles) at least one leg of my commute. There are plenty of people to help along the way and I am going to commit to doing something nice for someone every time I walk to/from the train station.
I am a huge believer in karma. My last day in the office prior to my maternity leave, I took a cab to the train station. Sitting on the seat of the cab was an iPod. Instead of handing it over to the cabbie, I decided to take it home and see if I could get it back to the owner. I was able to send the owner an email and we mailed it back to him. He was so happy and profusely thanked us. I am pretty sure he would have never seen it again if I had left it with the cab driver. A couple of months later I left my iPhone in a cab. A very nice person went to great lengths to contact me and was kind enough to leave my phone at a local hotel. There is no doubt that acts of kindness will come back to you.
Court, thank you for your very inspiring and poignant post.
